Learning to Celebrate Life Rather Than Fixing It



I have been trying to rebuild myself and my life these past 8 months and I am happy to say that I feel like things are beginning to hopefully really take a turn. I feel happy, I feel like I have energy; I’m beginning to feel like me again.

While it is tempting for me to run out of the gate at full sprint to attempt to tackle my life again, I know it is not the wisest thing to do, at this point. Going through everything that I have these past 8 months has made me really think about the things that I really want out of my life. I want to make some real lifestyle changes. I want to make some real emotional and behavioral changes as well.
Right now is about taking small steps, one or two at a time, so that by small and simple things, great things will be brought to pass.

I am trying to believe in the concept of taking one or two goals, habits, or desires at a time and working on them until you feel that they have been mastered. It is not normal for me to think like this. I am very much an All or Nothing type thinker. 
I am tired of living my life like this. I am tired of thinking this way.

My goal for the next little while, will be to take small and simple goals or desires or habits I want to change, to focus on them one or two at a time … and change. For the better. I will also focus on what ‘fuels’ me. There is so much that life has to offer. I want to try my hand at cooking French food, knitting (yes, knitting), writing more, exercising and eating better, practicing my instruments again, maybe possibly taking a lesson of some sort, reading books about a variety of different things, creating poetry/collage books again. Really, anything I want to do, within reason.

Each month I am focusing on a mind/body/soul goal. I finally feel like I have a map and some direction.

These are some things I thought about in the last 24 hours, concerning my 'mind' goal that I am focusing on, which is to read more inspiring, uplifting and thought provoking literature.


* Mind – We started a new book for book club, “My Grandfather’s Blessings”. I came across something that really resonated with me:

“There are many ways to feel empty in the midst of our blessings. We can bless others only when we feel blessed ourselves. Blessing life may be more about learning how to celebrate life than learning how to fix life. It may require an appreciation of life as it is and an acceptance of much in life that we cannot understand.”

I see that these past 8 months, I have been trying to fix my life, rather than simply celebrate it. I am beginning to learn to appreciate my life as it is and accept what it is at this point. That means accepting myself for who I am at this point, flaws and weaknesses, but also increased strength, empathy, patience, love and compassion and all. I am accepting that my home will probably not be as clean as I would like it to be for quite a while, that there will be messes, spills, and toys everywhere everyday, and that’s okay. To quote a good friend, my job isn't to clean my house. It is a service that I do for my family. Some days, I may perform that service. Some days, I may not. My 'job' is to focus on raising my two sons and focus on continually evolving into the person I am trying to become, and reaching out and connecting with my fellow human kind. Who cares if my floors are dirty and my toilet needs to be scrubbed? It's the least of my worries. (But don't worry, I'm not going to live like a slob either.)

 I want to celebrate my life right now, for what it is, messes, clutter, and beginning to be filled with more joy and simplicity.

Linking up with Shell today for Pour Your Heart Out.

Comments

Shell said…
Trying to fix it all is too overwhelming. Much better to make small, attainable goals and work through them.

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