Summer is Here!

For Memorial Day Weekend, we went up to visit my parents. Jack is afraid of both of my parents, well really, most adults, but for some reason, especially my parents, so it was an attempt for him to get used to being around them a little more. I'm not sure it worked all the well. Hopefully in another year he'll stop being a grumpy, shy, whiny stink around them, because he certainly isn't winning any points with them. It's hard because I of course want my parents to like my kid. Oh well. I still think he's cute.
He loves his little fedora.

He does on the other hand LOVE other kids, which is a nice relief to me. I was a little nervous taking him to the nursery in my parent's church. We came in a little late, right at snack time in the kitchen. He just walked right in, pulled himself up a chair, sat down, and started eating, like he completely belonged there. It was hilarious. He didn't even care that we were leaving. At the park, he loves following older kids around and tries to run and play with them. When he sees any little kid around his own age, he stops and goes up to them and smiles at them. He certainly isn't shy around children. Adults, yes. But like I said, it's nice to know I can take him somewhere that has a lot of kids and he's fine. I'm not worried about him going to preschool and regular school in a few years.
Chillaxing in his chair on the deck.
With Jacky on Mother's Day

He is now 21 months old. I can't believe he'll be two in three more months. He is trying so hard to speak. He is my little helper in the kitchen and I love it (for the most part). Any time I'm doing something at the counter, whether it's dishes or making something, he pushes one of the kitchen chairs over to the counter, throws the cushion on the floor, and pulls himself up. Last week I made vegetarian fajitas for dinner and had to chop up a lot of peppers and put them in an electric skillet on the counter. His job was to put all the sliced peppers into the skillet (which wasn't turned on yet). He also likes to help do the same thing when we make homemade sweet potato fries. His job is to put the sliced potatoes in a bowl and stir them in olive oil. He does a pretty good job! I sometimes let him dump ingredients into things too, so he feels like he's helping. He's a cute little goose (that's one of my nicknames for him).

My cooking buddy.

'Helping' Dad mow the lawn.

In other news, I feel that we are heading in for a bit of a transition in our lives. We are starting to look for a new home and are still trying to get pregnant. Both are proving to be pretty stressful for me. As far as the home search goes, we're not diligently searching, just kind of getting a feel for what's out there right now. I go back and forth on wanting to move or not. My main reason for wanting to move is to have more space. We live in a small 1300 sq foot home that has only 2 bedrooms. It at least has a separate living room and family room, and two bathrooms. The house has been a wonderful first home for us, especially for 7 years before we had a child. But now, with hoping to add another baby in the mix, it's going to get cramped. It already is. It's not unbearably cramped in here by any means, but adding another kid will make it so, and I'm not sure I really want to deal with that.

But then I walk around my little home and look at all of the work we have done over the years to make it ours. We've completely remodeled the backyard and it is finally what we want it to be. After 8 years! The thought of having to move somewhere else and start all over again, having to remodel a home all over again and redo the landscaping, makes me want to cry. Also, the thought of having to start all over again in terms of making friends and feeling at home in a neighborhood also makes me want to cry. I am a shy person, but come across as arrogant or stuck up, so it's hard for me to make friends at first. I have been trying really hard over the last few years to overcome my shyness and be really friendly and smile a lot (not in a weird, Stepford Wife sort of way), at people. Once you get to know me, I'm actually not shy, whatsoever. People that know me well think it's weird that I say that I'm shy.
Front of my cute little house.

Our backyard sanctuary. We love our little peach trees we planted a few years ago.

In any case, I finally feel 'at home' here in my little home and neighborhood. But the thought of having a bigger home (nothing fancy folks, just something bigger than it is now), is a very nice and tempting thought. We just keep going back and forth on whether we should try to move now, wait until I'm actually pregnant, or wait until right after I have a second baby. Which brings me to my second source of stress, which is trying to get pregnant. I'm about to start clomid, which is basically how I got pregnant with Jack. It only took 3 months of me being on clomid (a year of trying, testing, and a surgery before that) before I actually got pregnant with Jack, so I'm really hoping to be pregnant by September. My big fear is that it won't work this time around. But, I'm trying not to think about that. I hate it when people say, "Oh, you just have to relax, then it will happen!" Yeah, that was helpful advice. Why didn't I think of that?! I find the people that say that are those that have never had to struggle to actually get pregnant, it just happens for them. Sometimes, it takes a lot more than 'relaxing' in order to get pregnant folks.

I'll stop my ranting on that. You can see I'm stressed about it. I know it will happen when it's supposed to happen. In the mean time, I am extraordinarily grateful for the child I do have. I know I won't have a very big family, so I am so grateful to have at least one so far. He is definitely the light of my life!
My handsome little guy. (Just for the record, my niece, Lexie Jensen Photography, took this pic).

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